I feel so damn...

...Tired. yes of every single freaking thing. I don't know why but yea. I guess it's all the mood swings again.


...Geram. coz of Cik Zainab and the whole fact I will be seeing her tomorrow for a whole hour and prolly get more of her naggings. reason number 1, our results. reason number 2, I didn't do my work but it's her own damn fault.


...Useless. I can't make proper decisions especially at a time like now. I don't know why either. I can't do this and I can't do that. or rather I'm not allowed to.


...Stressed. again coz of work. and of course the whole prefect thing. I really thought of quiting. I can't seem to handle it by myself any more. it's just so much to do.



In conclusion I feel like I'm no longer the same me as before. I used to be this positive, cheerful girl who wants to just be the best of the best. even if I couldn't, I'd DIE trying. but now, I don't give a damn any more. maybe coz I really asked myself for the first time ever.


do I actually want all these, for me? or for something else? something that has nothing to do with me. note something else but not someone else. don't get me wrong. or just simply other reasons which I have not come up with yet.


I guess everyone has their times. where we have to let everything out.
I feel that I could just break down and prolly start swearing myself off. but I'm trying to control myself. although at the brink of giving up.

yes, emo times indeed.